Some things I've noticed

There are a lot of things in Germany that you'd anticipate are different than in the U.S. But, there have also been some random things that I've been noticing over time as I've been here. The little things. Here are a few.

• If you have a real job in Berlin, then you are in the minority. Berlin must have the highest number of photographers/writers/artists/muicians/other random self-employed things per capita of any other city. If you tell someone that you are not available to meet them at 2pm on a Tuesday because you have a job, and you have to go every day, all week long, then you get quite the funny look.


• Smokers. Just about everyone here smokes. It's just a matter of how often and in what contexts. There is a guy at my work who claims to smoke only on Wednesdays. It's possible that my calendar might be broken, because I've seen him smoking on all of the other days as well.


• Dogs. Almost all Berliners seem to own dogs. And they come everywhere. They are often unleashed and you'll find people "walking" their dogs by just biking down the sidewalk with their unleashed dog trailing somewhere behind. A lot of people also bring their dogs on the u-bahn, and they seem to lie there silently no matter what chaos is going on around them. I don't know if this is a matter of breed or training or both. But what kind of dog doesn't bark at you when you accidentally step on it?


• Doors. Of course there are two types of doors: the push kind and the pull kind. Often times they are labeled, but sometimes they are not. I've found that when they are not labeled, I guess wrong nearly 100 out of 100 times. At least until recently when I starting trying to think the opposite of what I want to think. Confused? You're not alone. I'm not sure what subtle clues I use in the U.S. that hint to me whether the door is push or pull, but whatever those are, they must be opposite here. Quite embarassing, depending upon the circumstances.


• In a similar vein, they put the light switches on the the outside of the bathrooms here. So, often an unsuspecting person such as me goes inside only to find that there's no light in there, and then you have to come back out and turn it on. It's not so bad, usually you can just open the door a bit and reach around the corner to turn it on. You'd think this would be easy for me to catch on to, right? Well, you'd be partly correct in thinking so. But, here's the problem. Somehow, I cannot categorically separate bathrooms from every other type of room in my head. So, when I got here I pretty quickly caught on to this bathroom trend. But then, I started trying to reach around and turn on the light when I entered the kitchen. And the living room. And the hallway.... I enter those other rooms more often than I enter the bathroom, so I had to switch myself back. By now, I'm all mixed up. Sometimes, it's easier to just pee in the dark.


• Whoever said that there was a bee shortage has not been to Berlin. I don't know if it is specific to here or general to Germany. But, I have noted it. There are bees and wasps everywhere. If you open a beer outside, they are quickly onto you. The other day, I was in my apartment and I opened a jar of honey to put on some bread I was eating. Then, suddenly a bee flew in my open window and noticed my honey and started to chow down. It sounded like "buzz buzz buzz", but, to a bee, that must sound like, "Holy crap, there's like 2 hives worth of honey sitting here. Come on everybody and join in the feast!" So, I had to fend off the bees with the feeble instruments I had at hand and defend my honey. Never happened to me before. This reminds me of another thing they don't have here. Window screens.


• Germans generally like to be well equipped for the tasks they have at hand. For instance, in the U.S., you might see someone out and about dressed in athletic clothes, and then ask them what they are doing that day. They might reply that they are going on a bike ride. This type of conversation is not often had in Germany. Here, if you are going on a bike ride, you are wearing biking shoes, biking socks, biking shorts, a special biking shirt/jersey, biking hat or helmet, and biking gloves. This makes the question unnecessary. Similarly, there are certain uniforms for certain jobs. If you are a custodial worker, you are wearing a set of grey overalls. Fix-it people wear blue ones. If you are a gardner, there is a very specific sort of green overalls you wear. There's no need to ask that guy what he does for a living. He's wearing green overalls, then he's a gardner.


• Here they are much more formal with greetings and with titles etc. There was a long booklet on regulations that I read when I got here and at the end, I determined that I do in fact meet the requirements to be called Dr. in the country of Germany. So, I am many times referred to as such. Not by my immediate coworkers or in informal settings of course, but on other occasions. For instance, I am allowed to label the mailbox at my apartment as Dr. As evidence, pictured below is my German bank card, complete with title. Funny.